I’m very pleased that Joe has taken to the time to answer Questions Five.
If I were going on holiday to London and I can only visit one pub, which pub do you recommend and why?
JA: You could try the Phoenix Artist’s Bar off Shaftsbury Avenue, where a glittering array of genre writers are often to be found arguing with their editors over that most eternal of literary questions – whose round it is. It has the added advantage of being right next to several of the UKs biggest bookstores. Once you are drunk enough, I therefore recommend you stumble outside and buy any and all copies of my books that you can find. The dizzy rush of excitement you’ll experience will be far superior to anything you can get in a pub.
So, which is preferable, reading The Blade Itself or visiting a dentist? Why?
JA: The Blade Itself will not give you a whiter smile. The Blade itself will not leave you with a minty fresh sensation on the tongue. The Blade Itself will not alleviate dental pain. Indeed, with its many scenes of mouth-based torture it may have the opposite effect. It will, however, I am reasonably sure, be cheaper than a visit to the dentist. In that respect, it is a winner.
Please describe one reason The Blade Itself would inspire a reader to strip naked and run screaming into the forest?
JA: Ah, interesting that you should ask. The Blade Itself contains a number of scenes set in forests and, yes, several of these involve moving faster than walking pace at various levels of undress. The very first line, in fact, has someone ‘plunging through the trees, bare feet slipping and sliding’. The book furthermore contains a great deal of screaming, yelling, wailing, blubbering etc. It also includes at least one instance of a stark naked wizard.
The possible effects on impressionable readers of these elements?
You do the math.
What other peculiar qualities of The Blade Itself should readers be aware of?
JA: It isn’t immediately clear from pictures on the internet (and I’m talking about pictures of the book, here), but potential readers should be aware that both the US and UK editions of The Blade Itself are covered in a sumptuously textured paper that puts one in mind of aged parchment, that caresses the fingertips and invigorates mind and body. Many criticisms have been leveled at my writing, but no-one has ever said that my books are not Grip-Friendly.
Why should The Blade Itself be the next book that everyone reads?
JA: Because I need a massive house.