Before I get into why the book is so awesome that words cannot contain the awesomeness, I must explain some of the extra benefits the book bestows. So, let me count the ways my life has improved from reading The Way of Kings.
- I lost 25 pounds by reading this book – this is the best diet plan you can possibly buy!
- I no longer need blood pressure medication (and it lowered my cholesterol too!)!
- My penis is now 12 inches longer, no condom can contain me now!
- My wife immaculately conceived!
- It cured my baldness!
- My erection can last over 4 hours I don’t need to call a doctor!
- A brand new Mercedes Benz showed up at my house in appreciation of reading the book!
- This book did my taxes! (and I got a great refund!)
- I’ve discovered the cure for cancer (and global warming)!
- I’m pretty sure this book is the actual reason Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize!
*Of course this all completely bullshit, but due to some asinine regulation I must state the obvious anyway. Hell, this book doesn’t even exist yet, so clearly it wasn’t provided by the publisher, though I do hope they will provide the book when it does exist, because I’m all about the quid pro quo and I am clearly on the forefront of a brilliant viral marketing campaign.